Lately, I have been struggling with the feeling of rejection from searching for a job. My previous employer, moved the company office to a location further away from my home. I chose not to add the distance to my already rather long commute and left the company.
Thinking to myself, it would be easy to find a new job closer to home. Admitting, I made this choice on my own accord. Honestly, I did not spend time in prayer before making the final decision. This was 10 months ago. I received unemployment and cashed in my 401k, we have been able to still meet the monthly expenses. We have reached the end of those resources, and now are close to facing the "what now" questions.
Ah, yes, my husband and I have been here before (too may times really). The Lord was with us in a similar situation when my husband was laid off from his job a few years ago. I know He is with us now. I can't help ask myself, "what did I miss?" Do you see what I missed? One very big thing, I did not seek the Lord in my decision to leave the job.
Two verses come to mind:
First verse from 2 Chronicles 7:14: "if my people, who called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and heal their land."
Second verse from Proverbs 23:4: "Labor not to be rich; cease from thine own wisdom."
My husband and I seem to keep coming back to this same situation: money stuff. When will we ever really understand this money thing? The Lord provides for all our needs. Money is something we use while on this earth. It messes me up all the time. I get dependent on the money and not God. Yep, I totally forget about the Lord when I have bank account with money in it. Then when that money runs out, yep, you guessed it, I go running for the Lord for His help. Thank goodness for His mercy and grace, I win another a trip around the mountain. Sigh. Dear Lord, I am sorry for the mess I have made it.
So the following encourages me to get it right for the Lord's sake:
Help me to put my foot on the next rung of the ladder and realize that although I may be feeling useless and worthless, nevertheless, I am still in the presence of God. He still permits me to come into His presence, even though I have forgotten His promises & misunderstood His ways. God does not cast me away. Let the wonder of this break afresh upon me today. Whatever has gone wrong in my life, I confess it to Him and look into His face & say: "Nevertheless, I am continually with You."