God Is About To Make A Change

The Bible is relevant to our lifestyle today. It never ceases to amaze me as many times I read parts of the Bible, how it really does apply even to my very own personal life each day.

I have been enjoying the book of Isaiah lately. I have to admit some of it flies right over my head, I must not be ready for the meaning of those words at the time I read them. Then, there are parts, that truly just turn on all the lights in my head! Those are my WOW moments. How did I ever miss that before. I was not ready for those words.

I enjoy the NIV Christian Growth Study Bible published by Zondervan. It was my "first" Bible. Since it is a study Bible, it has different paths, topics, reading plans that you can use to read through the Bible. It also has little devotionals or examples placed throughout the Bible to help you understand certain passages and verses that follow the topics or reading plans. I was reading Isaiah 22. There was one of the devotionals that follow the topic of Stewardship through the Bible for Isaiah 22:15-17.

Isaiah 22:15-17 says: This is what the Lord, the Lord Almighty, says: “Go, say to this steward, to Shebna the palace administrator: What are you doing here and who gave you permission to cut out a grave for yourself here, hewing your grave on the height and chiseling your resting place in the rock? “Beware, the Lord is about to take firm hold of you and hurl you away, you mighty man.”

The devotional referenced the verse this way: The topic is Stewardship, Accountable to God. 

"When Richard moved off campus, he set aside part of his scholarship money to cover his rent and transportation costs. It may have looked easy on paper, but when Richard needed money for a concert ticket, a new jacket and some home furnishings, he began dipping into the scholarship funds. With a few weeks left in the semester, he ran out of money and couldn't pay his rent. He had to plead with parents and friends to rescue him.
        As God's stewards, we also must give an account of how we've used the resources entrusted to us. When that day of reckoning comes, God won't be pleased if we've wasted them on selfish pursuits or foolish mismanagement. Our work as stewards is one way that he develops character in us. It teaches us to be faithful, to plan ahead (through budgeting), to become more dependent on him and to be content with what he provides us day by day.

Isaiah 22:15-17 The Voice reads like this:

(Explanation or introduction is from The Voice Bible)This message beginning with verse 15 is laid on the people of God living in and around Jerusalem. The prophet’s word is a corrective to those who proudly and confidently presume that they enjoy a privileged status with God by virtue of where they live and who their ancestors are. After all, God has pledged to King David that his dynasty will continue. The Judeans assume this means they will not have to worry about their enemies, regardless of how faithful or faithless they are to God. So when the enemy threat materializes on their border and moves right into bow shot, they do what most people do: they make reasonable, defensive preparations. But what they forget to do is key: they forget to turn to God. They put their trust in their weapons and their engineering skills. They ignore the One who established the city and made them a nation in the first place. So God tells Isaiah to have a talk with Shebna, the caretaker of the royal palace. God is about to make a change.
           Isaiah 22:15-17 says: "Eternal One: "Come on. Go to Shebna, the caretaker of the royal household, and confront him saying, “Why are you here, anyway? Do you really belong here? What right do you have to build yourself an elegant tomb and stone monument here out of the rock on this hill? Look, strong man! The Eternal is about to throw you out, wildly, violently. With a firm grasp."

The devotional hit my heart because of my current financial situation. I have been unemployed for the last 10 months. I left my previous job because it was relocated further away. The daily commute would have been 2-3 hours one way, that would be a total of 4-6 round trip. I could not justify driving that far for the job. 

I was able to enjoy the time off, but having a mortgage I still needed to find a new job. I applied, applied, applied and applied some more. I had a few interviews here and there. No job offers. We were "OK" for a few months because we had some "extra" money saved and had the money from the 401K from the previous job to help us. Then as July came, and still no job offers, we began to worry about being able to meet our mortgage. 

I had applied for a job and I went in for an interview to the company. I took a few assessment tests. Then waited my turn to speak to the recruiter. When she called me in the office, she told my scores were very good. 

She asked me a few questions and then asked that one nerve chilling question "What is the minimum salary amount you are looking for?" 

Before I answered her, I quickly rationalized, that I had just left a job that paid $19.63 an hour. I thought to myself, $11.00 would be the lowest I can go.

I responded, "I would ask for $11.00."

She was very professional and did not flinch at my response.

She very politely stated, "This job offers $9.50 per hour. Perhaps you want to think it over. I will keep your information. If you change your mind, you can call us back."

I left: bummed. I still had no job. I was arrogantly thinking I am "worth" more than $9.50 an hour. 

I continued to search for a job. I went to a couple more interviews. I almost had a job offer with one place. They called me back and asked me to go for a drug screening. Not sure what happened, but it fell through. 

Now we are at September. The resources are dwindling, fast. Of course, being human and full of fleshy pride and foolishness, I became more and more worried about not having enough for the mortgage. Yes, I prayed. But, I was impatient and instead of leaving my prayer request at the Lord's feet; I went and picked it back up again so I could worry some more and try to solve it on my own. 

While still searching, I came across the same position with the company that offered the $9.50 an hour job. I took a second chance and went back to update my application. The same young lady was there as before. I explained that my situation had changed and would like to be considered for the position. She set another interview the next afternoon for me and gave me instructions on what I was to do if offered a job. 

I get home and find that a different company called me to request an interview. I set up an interview the next morning, before the already scheduled interview in the afternoon. The next day came. I went to the first interview. The lady advised me that the person I was supposed to talk to would not be available and instead she would interview me. She asked me a few questions. She explained that they were not sure how they were going to fill the two positions they had and would call me by the end of the next week. 

Now what? This would be a "better wage". I still had the other interview. I knew (not to be arrogant) the other place would probably offer me a  job on the spot. And they did. I was told I would start on Monday. Giving me 4 days before starting the new job. 

I was conflicted. Should I decline the offer for $9.25 and hold out for a chance (not a guarantee) of higher wage? We were going to need the money very soon. 

Well, I went in on my first day. I was overwhelmed by the environment and atmosphere. I thought to myself, I am not staying and doing this job. I am so worth more than this. I finished my first day. When I got home, I explained to my husband how I felt about my first day. 

Then I read Isaiah 22 that night. I read the devotional. The last line is what sunk deep into my heart:

"It teaches us to be faithful, to plan ahead (through budgeting), to become more dependent on him and to be content with what he provides us day by day." 

And the part from the explanation from the Voice Bible, "The prophet’s word is a corrective to those who proudly and confidently presume that they enjoy a privileged status with God..."

How arrogant of me to think I am so much better and deserve so much more. I am so very grateful the Lord continues to probe deep into my heart and life. 

Yes, I went back to the job the next day. I prayed for Jesus to help me grow up. So glad to have the Bible to show me the way, because I lost all the time. PS, the other job with the higher wage NEVER called me back. 

Me And This Job

Hello my loved ones,

Today it is time to share a truth and a step forward in my faith.

I believe in Jesus, who died and rose again to save us all from our sins. I love Him with all my heart. I accepted Jesus as  my Savior back on Psalm Sunday [April 1998]. Here now, I am the farthest from Him I have ever been. And, my dears ones, it is I who have moved...not Jesus.

So much on my mind these days. The cold of the winter has surely set into my heart. The fear of doing well at my job has numbed me. It is this fear of failure I wish to express. I have allowed this job [the fear of losing it to be precise], that the Lord has provided for me, to become more important than Jesus. The devil knows my weaknesses...my pride being the biggest weakness of all. I want to be the best at my job. Who doesn't you say. Here is my downfall...I want everyone to think of me as the best. I want to hear everyone tell me just how great I am...always...everyday. I want it always to be about me...me...me. At the job I do, taking calls and talking with customers, it is about listening to the concerns and then offering resolutions to those concerns. There are goals to be met: how long the calls is to be, how well the tone [treating the customer with respect without letting any judgments entering the voice] of the call is managed, how many times the use of a senior representative's opinion is asked, how well are programs, policies and procedures carried out [basically how many mistakes were made in the handling of the call], etc.

It is the latter issue that has unnerved me and caused me to give into the overwhelming fear of losing my job and numbing me to the point of no motivation. Yes, a mind is a terrible thing to waste. I have wasted my mind on awful thoughts of failure and frightened myself to lethargic hopelessness. That is exactly where the devil knew to trap me...and my dear ones, I walked right smack into it.

Since taking my first call, I started off on the wrong foot...without going into a lot of detail...it resulted in a verbal warning. I was in training...as long as I did not have any other issues...once out of training it would go away. I went home in tears. Thinking that was it...I would throw in the towel right then and there. I talked it over with the Lord and my husband. I stuck it out. Phew, I made it to through training and probation. I have struggled with my call handle times. Seems I just can't seem to resolve the call quick enough. I was going along better until last January...yes, another warning. I took it better than the first one...my pride was still bruised. Then, a few months later, Bam...another warning...it was right in the middle of the busiest call volume and working crazy amount overtime...no excuses...it left me deeply mortified. The fear seeped deeply into my body...fear of failing at my job, fear of losing my job, fear of being a failure in the eyes of my husband and fear of being a failure in front of the Lord and especially fear of being a fool in front of all the people at work. Dread became my best friend. Instead of praying, I began to escape and live in denial by spending endless hours watching movies and playing silly computer games. As result of  the self inflicted stress, I over eat and eat junk food to punish myself. While at work, I was in constant dread of each call becoming my last. Not to mention, I struggle finding the positive motivation to get of out bed to go into work. And in this cold dreary winter weather, my willingness to get out of bed to drive and make it to work has only gotten worse.

Well, wouldn't you know, trouble loves company...right? Just the other day, I took a call...I ended up transferring it. Although, it is not official...it will result in yet another warning. Now what. The battle of faith is in the mind not the heart. I gave my heart to Jesus...it is the best thing I ever did...I did not give Him all of me...I did not give Him my mind [this is where my pride lives in the flesh]. I kept that for me to control. Any of you know, when you ask Jesus into your life, it means you give it all to Him. And, I did. But...and that it is the fist sign...using 'but'. It is a sign that I have not given myself completely to Jesus. It is an indicator that I am going to spend some time going around and around the mountain until I let go of and truly give God control in my life. The good news is God loves me and my mess. God will make me good because He Loves me.

Forgive me, I have gotten track a little...

I came home on Friday filled with unimaginable fear. Not eagerly looking forward to Monday, when I have to get up and face realty. I did not share with my Salah what happened at work. I cried myself to sleep that night. In the morning, I got up and went before the Lord. I asked for the strength to share with my husband...how do I tell him I have made a third error and I will most likely lose my job and if I lose this job...then we will lose this farm...and....and....and...I hate looking like a fool...I don't want to let my husband or the Lord down...and that is right where I let my mind and the devil put me.

I did tell my husband. We talked about it for a while. He reassured me with Godly wisdom and love. Today, not wanting to face the snow outside and the snow blowing that needs to be done, I asked my husband, if he was ok with doing all the snow blowing...I was laughing...you know that nervous laugh that comes when you are extremely embarrassed.

He asked me, "Why are you laughing?'
Me: " I feel funny [embarrassed] asking you that way."
My hubby: "You stay inside. Go back and read your Bible a bit. Your faith is weakening because of all this work stuff. It makes me weaker too. Read your Bible and take time to be by God."

That is my Lord and Savior speaking to me through my husband...who God has placed in my life as the most precious gift ever given to me.

My dear ones, even if you have not personally come to Jesus...no matter what you may believe...I tell you the truth, only one thing matters-stay close to God:

"come near to God and He will come near to you." ~James 4:8~

Also this passage:

"You're all I want in heaven! You're all I want on earth! When my skin sags and my bones get brittle, God is my rock-firm and faithful. Look! Those who left you are falling apart! Deserters, they'll never be heard from again. But I'm in the very presence of God--oh, how refreshing it is! I've made Lord God my home. God, I'm telling the world what you do!" ~Psalm 73:25-28 The Message~

Really, when it comes down to it, there are only two positions in life-close to God or far away from Him. What has caused me so much trouble in recent days and accounted for all my difficulties is the fact that I did not keep close to God. I have chosen not remain close to God...I moved...I have listened to lies the devil has whispered in my ear.

Not sure how this whole job thing will work out. Not sure where God is taking me. I expect Him to show up. I wait in a state of expectancy, and leave room for God to come in as His likes. So, I heed the Godly wisdom of my husband: "Go back and read your Bible". God's Word is alive with meaning, and when you read it something will happen to you. Expect it to speak to you--and it will. Faith is expectancy: "according to your faith will it be done to  you." [Matthew 9:29]. The moment we cease to obey, that moment the revelation ceases to reveal.

I leave you with this prayer:

Gracious Father, I don't want nearness to You to be an occasional experience--I want it to be a perpetual experience. help me to pay the price, no matter what it costs. In Jesus' name, I pray. Amen

A thought about “WORDS”:

It’s a Puzzle: What do butterflies get in their stomachs when they are nervous?

A thought about work:

Helpful Adjustment

A child’s father kept bringing home office work just about every night. Finally his first-grade son asked why. Daddy explained that he had so much work he couldn’t finish it all during the day.

The boy reasoned, “Then, why don’t they put you in a slower group?”

Flickr Tags: words,butterflies,stomachs,father,children,boys

A little prayer is all we need

A Morning Prayer:

Now, before I run to play, let me not forget to pray to God who kept me through the night and waked me with the morning light. Help me Lord, to love you more than I ever loved before, in my work, and in my play, be with me through the day. Amen

Bedtime Prayer:

Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep. May God guard me through the night and wake me with the morning light. Amen

Life is an interesting experience. God’s wonder and beauty surrounds us, if only we would take the time to notice. I do not always notice God’s grace and mercy in my own life. There are moments when my vision is blurred because I have not stayed focused on Jesus. My view becomes obstructed by some other distraction I allowed to get in the way. It has taken years of God’s patience for me to appreciate the process of God’s bending and molding within my heart. We want what we want now. There is always something good that comes from these shaping moments when we ask God and give God room to move and work out the details. This of course takes time—something we as humans do not like to wait for.

• And it shall be said in that day, Lo, this is our God; we have waited for him, and he will save us: this is the LORD; we have waited for him, we will be glad and rejoice in his salvation.” ~Isaiah 25:9 KJV~

It is lifelong journey to stroll down the pathways with God.
I pray you will find time to wait on God to show up in your own life.